Party suprise
by JenCollins1
Summary: after simple party all Dan's and Phil's life change for 360 (mpreg)
1. Chapter 1

**Party suprise.**

Dan and Phil went to club to celebrate their friend getting new job. Dan loved the shot game. He always won everyone else whoever wanted to play with him. Today Phil tried to win against Dan. They had 6 round. In each round 10 shots. And in every round Dan won. Phil didn't want to stay as loser.

-One more time! –Phil slured out.

-Okay. But this time we will have 15 shots insted of just 10! – Dan laughed out.

\- Okay. Lets do this! – Phil said getting ready.

They looked into each other eyes. Dan give Phil evil smile. Phil smiled back. And the game started. One to another till all shots was gone. The last shot they drank in sinc. Dan slam his shot glass on the desk and laughed a loud. Phil start laughing too.

-You understand that i still am winner, right? – Dan said leaning against Phil.

\- Yeah. But whatever. – Phil laughed trowing his arm around Dans waist.

Dan looked at him with questioning smile on his lips. Phil simply smiled back leading Dan into back of club where lights were almost out. Dan went with Phil without asking. He trust Phil. When they were safe from other eyes in the dark Phil pushed Dan agaist wall. Dan start laughing but let Phil do it. Phil pushed him tight against wall holding him in place with his own body. He looked deep in Dans eyes. Dan laughed.

-Just do it already. – He laughed out.

Phil press his lips against Dans in soft but messy kiss. Dan answered immediatly putting one of his hands into Phils long hair. Phil made kiss even deeper pushing his body more against Dans. Dan smiled against his lips and griped Phils ass cheeks making him jump a little in suprise.

-Scared? – Dan asked laughing.

\- Of course not. Lets get home. – Phil said letting Dan go.

Dans smile dissaper.

-Whatever. – He mumble and went outside together with Phil.

All car ride to the flat was silent. Dan was starting to go deep in his cloudy mind. He looked out the window all way home. And Phil did the same. Phil think about if he should make another move toward Dan or not.

When they get into their flat and lock the doors behind them Phil pushed Dan roughtly against the wall and start to kiss him hungrily. Dan let out soft moan and answered the kiss putting his arms around Phil. Phil start to rip Dans clothes off just like Dan did the same with Phils. They somehow made it to Phils bedroom falling into his bed. Phil on top of Dan.

Dan felt so needy. He griped Phils ass cheeks in his hands making his hips to come closer to Dans and their hard members to stroke together making them both let out loud moans. Phil kept stroking against Dan feeling hight from all the touches he felt against his skin.

Dan needed more. Simple strokes wasn't enough. He needed to feel Phil fully.

-Phil... I need you! I fucking want you! –Dan moaned out when Phil touch his neck with his lips.

Phil bite down on his neck making Dan tremble under him and moan for more. Phil got up and grab bottle of lube from his bedside table. Dan looked at him with big innocent eyes.

-You have done this befour, don't you? – Phil asked lubing his fingers.

\- I... that isn't important. Just do it already, fuck. – Dan suck into sharp breath when Phil pushed first finger in.

He closed his eyes feeling ugly burning inside himself. But he stayed silent. He didn't dare to make a sound and ruin it all. He wanted this. So little pain was nothing to him.

Phil let Dan to adjust to sensation and than start to slowly move his finger inside him. After he felt Dan relax he pushed second one into him. Dan automacaly tighten around his fingers. Phil saw that Dan bite his bottom lip really hard like it could brust into blood in any second. Phil lay down and took his lips between his sexualy sucking it and looking into Dans eyes.

It helped Dan to get his mind of the burning sensation into him. It made him want even more. He pulled Phil down for deep hungry kiss making Phil moan into his mouth.

Phil enter two more fingers streching Dan open for him. When that was done he pulled his fingers out and lubed up his dick without leaving Dans eyes.

Dan lick his lips and slid his hand around his own dick matching Phils movements with his member.

Phil smiled and pushed away Dans hand making him whine. Phil smiled and put his dick head against Dans entrace. He tease it with little strokes than pushed only the head inside. Dan took in sharp breath shuting his eyes.

Phil pulled himself out and than pushed himself back in.

Dan let out little masked screem that sound more like half pain screem half pleasure moan.

Phil started moving inside Dan huging his body and leaning down to kiss his lips in messy kisses to make it feel better.

Dan start to feel all pleasure running into his body. He griped his hands into Phils back wanting more.

-More! – Dan moaned out without opening his eyes.

And Phil give him more. He griped his hips tight into his hands and trust into him deeper and faster.

Dan was moaning mess under Phil. And hearing every Phils moan he got closer and closer to climax.

When Phil hit that right spot into Dan, Dan screemed pushing his nails into Phils back making Phil moan. Phil kept hitting that spot making tears come to Dans eyes from all the pleasure.

And finaly Dan triped over that edge screeming Phils name over and over. Making Phil come into him.

Phil move throught the after shock and than let himself fall on top of Dan trying to katch his breath. He slowly pulled himself out and lay down next to Dan.

Dan still kept his eyes closed and simply trow his arm over Phils waist and let sleep take over his body.

In the morning Dan was first who wake up. In the start he felt dissorentate. He looked around and was little shocked founding himself into Phils bed. Naked. Both of them naked. Dan put his hand over his face remembering everything that happened last night. He get up looking down on sleeping Phil. He went into hot shower feeling burn sensation in his ass. That made him little grumpy but over it all he had terible hangover.

-Why the hell i need to drink so much? – He murmured to himself while making coffee.

\- So you would fuck with me without explaining anything. – Phil said stoping right next to Dan.

Dan looked and him with serious look on his face. And then he started laughing. Phil was taken aback with that. He stand there all serious without saying nothing. Dan finaly callemd down.

-Don't you think that i would do it anyway? – Dan said pulling Phil into fast kiss than turning around to get his coffee.

\- Well, i'm not sure about it.- Phil said taking coffee for himself too.

\- Than that's not my probem. – Dan said going out of kitchen giving playfull slap to Phils ass.

Phil let put little laugh. He loved playfull Dan.

 _ **2 weeks latter.**_

Dan and Phil were filming a video when Dan suddenly felt all his insides turning around. He put his hand against his mouth and rush to bathroom to trow up. Dan felt really weak after all his eaten content was out.

He brush his teeths and drink little watter and went back to sit beside Phil.

-Are you okay? What happened? – Phil asked little worried.

\- Nothing. I probably eat too fast. Lets continue filming a video. – Dan said little annoyed.

Phil wanted to say something but seeing how annoyed Dan was he brush it off.

Dan start to feel okay again till after half an hour he trowed up again.

-Maybe i need to call a doctor? – Phil said helping Dan to get to bed.

\- No need. I will sleep a bit and that it all will be okay. – Dan said stading next to his bed.

He put his jumper off looking in the mirror. He looked pale. And he really need to start doing some kind of exercise.

He lay down in bed under blanket and shut his eyes. He put his hand over his stomach feeling how tight it was. How hard it was. That was weird. Dan looked down at his hard tummy.

-What the fuck...? – Dan murmured running his hand over and over his tummy till it hit him.

\- Fuck! No... fuck fuck fuck! – Dan was up and putting his clothed back on. – Can't happen. Fuck. Fuck fuck. Stupid Dan. How could you forget simple thing like that? Idiot. Fuck. –

Dan put his jacked on and push wallet in his back pocket running out the flat. He need to get to some drug store. He rushed inside one trying to catch his breath.

-Can i help you? – Ask middle age lady.

\- Yes, please. I need pregnacy test. In the best way couple of them. Each different please so i could be sure that they don't lie. – Dan said trying to sound calm.

\- One second. – Lady put 5 diferent tests infront of Dan.

\- Thank you. – Dan payed for them and rushed back home locking himself into bathroom.

He sit down reading how to used them. He took couple deep breath and do them. He than take them to his room and lock the doors. He sit down waiting for results.

 _What will he do if they come out positive?_

Dan shake his head.

 _Calm down, Dan. You probably just overact as always._

Dan looked down on the test. He couldn't breath. Every test was positive. They all were positive. Dan saw his life breaking apart.

He sit there for couple moment without doing nothing fighting breakdown coming. And than he jump up and start to trow stuffs around his room. He screemed and cried. He didn't know what to do next. How to live.

Dan sit down crying and hugging his tummy. He was lost.

-You choose the wrong time buddy... – He wisper to his hard tummy.

Soft knock on his doors made Dan jump.

-Dan, please open up. I am worried. – Phil tried to open doors and sound really worried.

Dan sit there looking at the doors without knowing what to do. He and Phil weren't even together yet. And Dan had no idea if Phil even want to be with him in that way because till know they had only one night stand and nothing more.

Dan breath deep and stand up opening the doors.

-Dan.. You look terrible. What happened? – Phil was worried.

\- I had breakdown... – Dan mumble and trow himself into Phils open arms.

-Oh, Dan. You know that you can always come to me when you have one. That what best friends are made for. – Phil let out soft laugh.

In that moment Dan choose not to tell anything to Phil at all.

 _You will be my little secret._

Dan wisper into his mind to little life growing under his heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Dan was sitting in a private clinic waiting for his name to be called.

He have been here a lot in a past years so he felt like home.

\- Daniel Howell, doctor is waiting to see you. - Nurse come out with papers in her hand and smiled at Dan leading him to doctor cabinet.

Dan closed door behind him and sit down.

\- Daniel! It's been a long time since I last saw you here. - Doctor, Luci, smiled at Dan sitting down in front of him, - So, is there something wrong or did you just come to regular check up? -

\- Well, I kinda made a mistake... I forgot to use protection... And when I took 5 different pregnancy tests, they all were positive, and my tummy is rock hard too... - Dan looked down to his hands.

\- Okay, lets look it up. Please change into hospital dress and lay down. - Luci smiled at Dan turning to get everything ready.

Dan changed and lay down feeling a bit nervous.

\- I will take some blood for blood tests so we can see if everything there is in norms and okay. - Luci said taking small tubes filled with Dan blood.

\- How did you decide to take pregnancy tests? - Luci start ultrasound.

\- Like a week or so after I spend night with this one boy, I suddenly got sick and it just hit me when I felt my tummy being hard so I run to grab some tests. - Dan was explaining with memories running through his head.

\- So you finally have a boyfriend? - Luci glanced at Dan before turning back to the screen.

\- Not really, we are best friends and we kinda had like one night stand... He know nothing about this. Not even possibility. - Dan felt sad all of a sudden.

\- Oh, I'm sorry. I am sure that two of you will work something out. - Luci turned screen to Dan, - So, do you see this little dark star here? That is your baby. -

Dan was staring at the screen with awe, he have a baby, little star growing inside him.

\- I have to ask, do you want to keep it? - Luci asked swiping lube off of Dan's stomach.

\- Yes, of course. - Dan answered without even thinking.

\- Good. I will give you some vitamins to drink so we know that baby will get all thing it need. I suggest you to come again in a month, it would be for the best if you could come for check ups every month. Just to make sure that two of you are alright. - Luci sit down writing down what Dan will need.

\- Okay, but is he okay now? - Dan asked putting back on his clothes.

\- Yes. Here, buy these and take one every day. A card for next visit. When I will get your blood test results, I will call you and tell you all about them. Take care of yourself, Dan. - Luci smiled and pulled Dan into hug. - Oh, and don't forget your first photo of your little miracle! - She give Dan small photo of what he saw on the screen, his baby.

\- Thank you so much, you are so nice. I couldn't wish for a better doctor. - Dan smiled at her before walking out the door.

When Dan buy his vitamins he pulled off the label, he simply didn't want Phil, or anyone really, questioning him about why he had them.

Next week was calm, Dan got sick only once and he and Phil was spending a great time together, filming videos and simply hanging out with each other.

\- Dan, lets go to this one party. They invite us and since all we do is sit home, we could actually go. A little change from all casual. And don't say no because I already told that we are going, so just get dressed. - Phil was beaming in happiness already picking out outfit to wear.

Dan let out low breath but didn't say anything.

He went into room and pick out simple black shirt and his black skinny jeans. He just didn't feel like dressing up much.

They went to the party and Dan regret it right away, everyone was smoking and drinking.

Phil pulled him to the bar where shots were served.

\- Wanna revenge? - Phil asked smirking.

\- Not today, Phil. I really don't feel like drinking. - Dan sit down taking a bottle of water.

\- Okay, I will take a shot anyway. - Phil smiled gulping down not one but 5 shots at the time.

\- You will get drunk even before party actually start. - Dan said shaking his head.

\- Nah, lets go dancing! - Phil was pulling Dan with him to the dance floor.

And Dan needed to admit, he loved dancing with Phil, just the feeling how your blood start to pump in the same rhythm as music and that how Phil was bumping into Dan, it just made him feel so happy.

Hours latter they were still dancing around, Phil have take so many drinks that Dan lost a count of them. But at least he won two shot games.

\- Danny, you are so beautiful. - Phil trowed his arms around Dan's neck.

\- You are drunk. Lets get you home before you pass out. - Dan hold Phil and led him outside in fresh air.

In taxi Phil was leaning against Dan starting to kiss his neck.

Dan said nothing, Phil was drunk, but Dan couldn't deny how much he loved to feel Phil's lips against his skin and growing hard on wasn't helping too.

Dan hold a strong arm around Phil's waist helping him get into their apartment when taxi stopped.

\- Dan, I want you. - Phil growled under his breath when Dan locked their door.

\- You are drunk, Phil. - Dan turned to Phil helping him take off his shoes.

\- And you are rock hard. - Phil smirked grabbing Dan by his man parts.

\- Shit, Phil. - Dan tried to take deep breaths but his hormones choose to make him even more horny.

\- You want it just as much as I want it. - Phil pulled Dan into sloppy kiss and Dan lost it all.

Their kisses was rushed and heated, clothes was flaying around all flat till they fell down in bed fully naked and hard already.

Phil was on top of Dan, kissing his neck sliding one hand down to Dan's ass.

Dan turned them around so he could be on top and start kissing Phil even harder bruising their lips and making Phil moan.

\- This time, I am on charge. - Dan pinned Phil down by his wrists making Phil smirk even harder.

\- Mmm, you are so sexy. - Phil pulled his hips up to make their dick touch, making them both moan.

Dan grabbed lube from Phil's bedside table opening it up and pouring some in his hand.

\- No need to pour it on your fingers. Just rub it on your dick. I'm already ready. Was feeling horny in the shower before party. - Phil said sliding his own hand over his dick.

\- Oh, really, and about who did you though while you fucked yourself? - Dan slapped Phil's hand away from his dick.

\- You, how good you could have fucked me there, in the shower. - Phil tried to pull Dan down into kiss but Dan didn't let him.

\- Than why didn't you just call me? - Dan sit back.

\- I don't know, do you want me to call you next time? - Phil was still trying to pull Dan down smiling.

\- Yes, I am sure that actual me will feel much better than some fake dick. - Dan growled close to Phil's face feeling a bit angry.

\- Mmm, than show me now. - Phil whisper back finally pulling Dan into kiss.

Dan bit Phil's lips making Phil moan even harder and with one trust he was balls deep into Phil making him scream and trow his head back.

\- Did you wanted me to do it like this? Trust into you without any warning? - Dan growled in growing anger.

\- Fuck, yes! Fuck me rough! - Phil moaned out putting his arms around Dan.

\- Did you fuck yourself hard like this? - Dan pulled out and trust back in even faster and deeper.

\- Y..Yes! - Phil screamed letting his nails dig into Dan's back pouring more oil to growing flame in Dan.

Dan grabbed Phil's hips and trust in him even harder making Phil scream with each trust.

\- Did it feel like this? Did you went even more rough on yourself? - Dan was growling in pure anger.

\- Yes, yes! Fuck! - Phil was gasping pulling Dan even closer.

Dan lost it all and went even more rough on Phil, trusting as deep and hard he could, making sure that the next few days Phil will still feel him inside, making sure that he was much better than some fake dick.

Phil was screaming in pleasure digging his nails over Dan's back.

They come almost in unison, screaming each other names.

Dan slowed down leaning down, pulling Phil close and kissing him.

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan even tighter moaning in extra sensation slow, peace full rhythm made.

Now it felt more like love making that made Dan even more emotional.

All anger was gone, it was fucked out, now only love was pouring out of Dan.

Dan bite his lip so hard not to say that he love Phil, that he made it bleed.

\- Dan, - Phil moaned out looking deep into his eyes.

\- Phil... - Dan closed his eyes feeling tears come out.

He pulled out fully ready to get up, but Phil hold him down pulling him close, wiping away Dan's tears.

Dan stayed wrapped in Phil's arms calming down.

Phil slowly kissed Dan on the corner of his mouth.

\- Sleep... - Phil murmured trying to fight his own sleep.

\- Please remember me in the morning... - Dan whisper to Phil before he let sleep take over them both.


	3. Chapter 3

When Dan wake up he felt so comfortable and warm that he didn't want to move at all.

He breath in deeply, breathing in Phil's scent mixing with sex and alcohol.

Lat night come crashing down on him.

Dan slowly start to get up but Phil wrapped his arm around Dan's waist even stronger.

\- Where do you think You are going? - He murmured with his voice raspy and harsh with sleep.

\- Are you awake? - Dan couldn't help but whisper, holding himself up on his elbows over Phil.

\- Yea... - Phil rub his eyes with his free hand and open them slowly.

Dan looked down into floating blue eyes looking up at his face.

\- I probably should go... - Dan murmured under his breath not really wanting to go.

This time Phil didn't hold him down and let Dan rush out of his bedroom.

Dan was close to breaking down, he rush to the bathroom and lock himself in sitting down in the shower, letting hot water wash away all his sadness.

Now he was just a two night stand.

It hurt even more than being simple one night stand.

Dan was ready to turn around and hurt himself but he stopped looking down at his now growing tummy.

\- Oh baby... What are we gonna do? - Dan sigh sliding a hand over his small, growing baby.

Dan calmed down before getting out of the shower.

He wrap a towel around his waist and went to his room to dress up for today.

After couple hours it all went back to how it have been always.

He and Phil was being a best friends, doing things they knew how to do best, play video games and sit on their laptops.

Days went by, turning in couple weeks.

Phil into room announcing that he and Dan will have a small party, nothing big. Just two of them with bottle of wine and watching award ceremony on live tv.

Dan was okay with it, since he wanted to watch it anyway.

They sit down in the evening, snacks around them and wine bottle between them.

Dan didn't drink at all, he didn't feel like it and plus he didn't want to give any bigger chance for his baby to have problems than there already was.

They had really good time.

They didn't even notice Phil drinking the whole bottle of wine by himself.

They was happy and laughing a lot.

Than all of sudden Phil pulled Dan into a kiss surprising him.

But Dan could resit it even knowing that Phil was doing it just because he was drunk again.

Dan answered the kiss and pulled away.

Phil looked at him questioning.

\- You are drunk. I'm tired of being your get off choice. - Dan sigh getting up.

Phil grab his arm pulling him into his lap.

\- You are my first choice, always. Not just now, not just to get off. - Phil said wrapping his arms around Dan's waist.

\- Oh for fucks sake Phil! You make me hate myself. - Dan was ready to give up.

\- Than let me love you so you wouldn't have a time to hate yourself. - Phil said pulling Dan into kiss.

And with that Dan lost it.

After couple minutes they were already on the floor naked, Dan on top.

They both just needed a bit rough fuck right there.

After that evening there come more just like that, Phil would get drunk and pull Dan into rough sex, nothing lovely and right after that they would go back to being best friends like nothing have happened at all.

Soon Dan got his next baby photo.

He hid it from Phil, from everyone. Keeping it just for himself.

A small baby bump was forming starting to worry Dan even more and more.

But Phil didn't notice it at all.

In these nearly three months they have had sex for about 10 times already.

It made Dan fucking sad to know that for Phil it was just a rough fuck and nothing more.

Dan wished that it could be something more, something with actual feelings.

Love making.

He wanted to feel a little bit of love.

Dan was breaking down and he couldn't stop it because pregnancy hormones made it even worse.

Dan was screaming and trowing everything against the walls, not really caring if he crash anything.

He just couldn't take it anymore.

He screamed as loud as he could till his lungs hurt.

He couldn't hear anything.

He was screaming and choking on his own tears when Phil pulled him into his lap.

Dan was screaming at Phil without saying real words and hitting him in the chest over and over again.

But no matter how hard Dan was fighting, Phil hold him tight against his chest, murmuring sweet nothing to Dan.

Dan let his body crush against Phil's, crying hard and soaking Phil's shirt even more.

\- I'm here, baby, I'm here. Shhh, I'm here. - Dan made out a bits of what Phil was murmuring to him placing small kisses on top of his head.

Dan looked up with tearful eyes catching Phil's look.

\- I want love... - Dan cried out without knowing if the words even did come out at all.

\- I know, I know. - Phil murmured whipping away Dan's tears before pulling his lips softly against Dan's into soft kiss.

Dan's breath hitch for a moment, he calmed down into the simple kiss.

And right there his fucking hormones decide that it's a good time to make him a pleading whore.

Phil lay Dan down and keep kissing him, pouring love in every kiss.

With every small touch Dan wanted, he needed to get more.

He didn't know if there will be a chance to feel love like this ever again.

He let Phil touch him and kiss him, enjoying the love given to him.

He felt Phil ready to push in when Phil slid his hand over Dan's baby bump waking him up back to reality.

Dan grip Phil's arm that was holding Phil's dick lined up, stopping him.

\- Phil... wait... I... - Dan didn't know what to say.

He couldn't tell Phil about the baby, not right now.

But Dan was so scared of what will happen to the baby if he will let Phil be on the top, Dan didn't want to risk his baby's life over love making.

Phil saw fear in Dan's eyes leaning down to kiss him softly.

\- You don't need to be a bottom, if you don't want to. - Phil smiled down at Dan.

\- I want, I'm just... I'm scared... Phil, I am fucking scared right now. - Dan wanted to look away but Phil hold his chin so Dan would look at him.

\- About what sweety? - Phil asked wrapping and arm around Dan to hold him close.

\- About everything that is happening, about what it will do and what consequences will come out of it. I'm just so scared, Phil... - Dan hid his face to Phil's neck.

\- I'm here, Dan, you don't need to be scared. - Phil said starting to play with Dan's hair to calm him down. - I'm sorry that all our other sex times wasn't so full of love, I wish that I could give you a better ones. I guess, I'm just into feeling you as much as I can. -

\- What? - Dan felt a bit confused.

\- I want to make love with you, Dan. - Phil said kissing him softly.

Dan kiss him even deeper, feeling his fear slipping away.

\- Do you trust me? - Phil asked into the kiss, Dan nod right away.

Phil smiled pulling away a bit before lining himself up on Dan's dick.

Dan's eyes wide in surprise.

Phil smiled sliding down and starting to ride Dan.

Dan let his head fall back moaning in pleasure.

\- Fuck, this feel so good... Why didn't we do this earlier? - Dan gasped grabbing one of Phil's hand letting other one rest on his chest.

And the view was breathtaking.

They couldn't take their eyes off of each other, making real love.

They kiss a lot too pouring even more love out.

Dan felt so happy.

They both come almost in the same time, pulling each other into deep kiss.

They lay back down trying to catch their breaths, smiling like an idiots.

They fingers wrapped together.

\- This was the best one we have had. - Phil breath out pulling Dan into kiss.

\- I agree, - Dan smiled into the kiss before something hit him. - Wait, you are not drunk! -

\- Yes, Dan, I still want you even when I am sober. - Phil laugh holding Dan close.

\- Do you really? - Dan asked in big hope.

\- Of course. And I want something else too. Will you be my boyfriend, Dan? - Phil asked looking deep into Dan's eyes making his breath to hitch for a moment.

\- YES! HELL YEAH! YES, YES, YES! - Dan was screaming in happiness making Phil laugh and pull him into love full kiss.

They stay there simply kissing and laughing, playing with each other hair till they got cold and decide to take a hot shower together before going to sleep, also together.

Dan haven't smile like that in a long time.

He felt completely happy.

He have finally got Phil as his boyfriend.

They lay down into Phil's bed whispering sweet nothing to each other and still playing with each other hair and fingers, giving small kisses here and there, both feeling fully happy.

\- Phil? - Dan asked in the dark when he was almost sure that Phil have fallen asleep. - I love you, I have loved you since the first day we met. -

\- I love you, Danny, since a long time ago. - Phil open his eyes scaring Dan a bit because he was sure that Phil was asleep.

Phil smiled up at Dan and pulled him into hug kissing his nose.

\- Good night, love. - Phil whisper closing his eyes again.

\- Good night. - Dan murmured melting away in Phil's hug, but before slipping fully away into sleep, he put one hand in his little baby bump wishing his little one sweet dreams in his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

It was already month since they become boyfriends.

They were so happy about it, enjoying it a lot. Going out for dates and simply spending their time together.

Yes, it wasn't much different than being simply best friends, but just knowing that they could share kisses and hold hands made it feel somehow special.

Dan had his appointment today, he felt nervous for some reason.

He woke up earlier than needed, feeling Phil's arms wrapped around his body.

Room smelled like sex again, well it smelled like that almost every day.

They just couldn't get enough from each other.

Dan knew that he won't be able to keep his secret from Phil for much longer, his baby bump was growing and they saw each other naked every day.

Dan groaned slipping out of the bed walking to the bathroom to take hot shower.

He couldn't stop thinking about all the possible scenarios about what will happen.

With that, Dan just made him even more scared so he end up bend over toilet, trowing up his dinner.

Dan splash cold water over his face slowly starting to dress.

Shirts start to feel a bit tight making him thank himself for buying oversize shirts all the time.

Most struggle come with his jeans, they was so hard to button up.

When Dan finished dressing he was already out of breath, cursing himself for not being in better shape.

Dan made his way to the door thinking that he will get out before Phil even wake up, but he was wrong.

\- Hey, where are you going so early? - Sleepy Phil asked coming closer to Dan and pulling him into hug.

\- I need to go see my doctor, don't worry, just a small check up and nothing more. I will be back about midday. - Dan said planting a small kiss on the side of Phil's mouth making him smile.

\- Oh, okay... - Phil didn't want to let go of Dan, for some reason he felt worried.

\- Don't worry, I'm gonna be alright. - Dan smiled pulling Phil a bit closer to himself.

\- Sorry, just for some reason I feel worried. I don't know why. - Phil said leaning against Dan.

Dan felt frozen for a moment but he manage himself to smile and plant one more kiss on the top of Phil's head before letting go of him and going to catch his taxi.

All the way to the clinic Dan felt more and more worried, he understand that he needed to calm down or else he will get panic attack but he just couldn't.

Just the tough of losing Phil was making him go crazy.

Dan couldn't sit in peace in the waiting room, he was walking around or if he sit down he kept his feet bumping down in some weird rhythm.

Soon enough nurse took Dan to the doctor cabinet.

Dan sit down without hiding how hard his hands was shaking.

\- Dan! What's wrong? Did something bad happened? - Luci come sit in front of Dan taking his arms in hers.

\- No, I just... I am so damn afraid of what will happen... What if he will dump me bc of this? If he will hate me or hate the baby? What if he won't want to see us? - Dan break out in tears.

\- Daniel, listen to me, nothing like that will happen. You hear me? From all you have told me about Phil, I am sure that he really love you and will stay with you no matter what. You need to calm down right now, you don't want to harm the baby, right? So lets breath together and calm down. - Luci helped Dan get his breathing back to normal before helping him lay down.

\- Baby bump is growing really well, that mean that baby have enough space. That is good. - Luci said smiling down at Dan before starting ultrasonography showing Dan his baby.

They listen to the little one heartbeats making Dan tear up again but this time in happiness.

\- It's so beautiful... - Dan murmured without being able to take his eyes off the little creature.

\- Baby is growing healthy. For now there is no reason to worry. - Luci said smiling and printing out new photos for Dan helping him sit up.

\- I am so happy. - Dan said looking down in the photos.

\- I am so happy about you, Dan. You will be a great dad. - Luci said smiling at Dan.

\- Oh, I wanted t o say that I run out of vitamins, do I need to keep drinking them? - Dan asked looking up.

\- Yes, I will write them down for you. - Luci walked to her desk writing down small paper and giving it to Dan.

\- Thank you so much, Luci, I couldn't wish for the better doctor. - Dan said smiling.

\- Thank you, Dan. - She smiled at him before Dan walked out.

Dan felt so happy.

His baby was already so big and most important thing was, that it was healthy.

Dan made sure to hid the photo and vitamins from Phil again.

He just wasn't ready yet to tell him the truth.

Dan was about to pop one vitamin in his mouth when Phil hug him from the back making him jump a bit.

\- PHIL! You scared the shit out of me. - Dan said trying to get his breathing back to normal.

\- Sorry. - Phil said leaning down to kiss Dan's neck but noticing the bottle in Dan's hands. - What's that? -

\- What? - Dan followed Phil's look to the vitamin bottle in his hand. - Oh, just a vitamins. Doctor said I should take them for a bit. -

\- Oh, okay. So how did it go? - Phil asked leaning back down to kiss Dan's neck.

\- Mmm... Good. - Dan close his eyes enjoying Phil's lips sliding over his skin.

\- I'm so happy that you are back home, I missed you. - Phil murmured close to Dan's ear, sucking his earlobe between his lips.

\- I missed you too... - Dan tried hard not to moan and hold himself back together. - Phil, I need to drink these vitamins now... So could you please stop making me hard...? - Dan asked feeling breathless.

\- Of course. - Phil laugh still holding Dan into his arms.

\- Thank you. - Dan murmured drinking one vitamin and putting the bottle back in it's place.

They went to sit, more like cuddle, down on the couch, Dan's back pressed against Phil's chest.

\- Christmas is coming, do you have any plans yet? - Phil asked playing with Dan's already curly hair.

\- Not really, only thing I know is that I want to spend them with you. - Dan said looking up to kiss Phil softly.

\- Mmm, I like that plan. - Phil murmured before kissing Dan back.

They kiss for a moment longer before Dan's stomach rumble loudly making them both start to laugh.

They cook easy dinner together, stopping so often to share a kiss.

Right after dinner Dan already felt really tired, he climb into bed almost falling asleep right away, just feeling Phil's warm touch wrapping around him and soft kiss placed on his cheek.

In the morning Phil woke up first, watching Dan sleep for a moment.

Dan looked extra cute while sleeping, his hair all messy.

Phil smiled snapping a cute lil photo of sleeping Dan before getting out of the bed and walking to the kitchen to make a proper breakfast for both of them.

Phil got everything ready just walking in Dan's room to get him his vitamins.

When he took the bottle out something else catch his attention.

Phil put the bottle down taking out some papers.

He looked down at them understanding what they really was.

Ultrasonography photos...

All with Dan's name under and some date.

One month, two months, three months, four.

The last one taken yesterday.

Phil felt confused.

Dan was going to the doctor yesterday... just in that time...

Did Dan knock up some girl?

But then why was his name under all these photos?

What was Dan not telling him?

With every second Phil get even more and more mad.

He rush out of the room to see that Dan have just wake up, small smile playing on his lips.

\- What the fuck is this?! - Phil said throwing down the photos in front of Dan, seeing his smile to disappear and him getting pale.

\- Phil... I can explain... - Dan start to stutter.

\- Are you cheating one me? - Phil couldn't hold his growing anger in any longer.

\- What? No! Of course not! - Dan rise his voice a bit just like Phil did.

\- Then how do you explain these? Did you knock some girl up? - Phil was shaking in his anger.

\- I didn't knock anyone up! Can you fucking shut up and listen!? - Dan was losing his temper too.

\- Listen to what?! I see that you have been lying me all this fucking time! - Phil screamed.

\- I had no choice! I had no choice, Phil! You would have left me! - Dan stand up with tears starting to role down his cheeks.

In that moment Phil's eyes slid down to the baby bump that he haven't noticed before.

He couldn't believe himself.

\- What...? - Phil was so confused.

\- I had no fucking choice! I never did! I am not normal, Phil! I have never been normal! - Dan was screaming through his tears.

\- But how...? What? - Phil start to feel dizzy.

\- That night when you fucked me, I forgot to use protection, I understand it only when it was too late. Baby was already growing... I couldn't get rid of it... And I was so scared to tell you, I was so scared of you leaving me... - Dan was shaking so hard trying to choke out words.

\- So you lied all this time? You lied every day looking me in the eyes! I trust you the most but you lied every damn day to me! How could you do that!? And you kept it all like everything's fine! Keeping to fuck me while you was fucking with my mind! - Phil was screaming right in Dan's face making him flinch with every word.

\- Phil... I... - Dan tried to gasp out.

\- You know what this is, Dan? IT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING! - Phil screamed right in Dan's face making him flinch like he have been slapped.

With that Phil just turned around and walked out of the room and then flat without even looking back.

Dan break down crying and gasping for the breath.

He felt like he have stabbed in the chest over and over.

All his life was breaking down, shattering around him.

Dan was floating back into darkness, his so well know hole.

But this time, there was no way back.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5.**_

That night Dan cried himself to sleep. The next night wasn't different. And then the next and the next one.

Phil didn't come back. No matter how much Dan looked at the door, wishing for Phil to come back, he didn't.

Dan was feeling worse and worse with every passing day. Skipping eating.

It had already been whole week since Phil had left, no sound from him.

Dan was lying in bed as if he were dead, simply lying there and looking at the wall without seeing anything.

A smal bump made him shift a bit.

Then he felt another one that was harder.

It woke him up, making him sit up straight and look down at his baby bump.

He felt his baby moving!

Dan start crying, hugging his baby bump, murmuring silent apologies.

Feeling the small movement made Dan realize that he couldn't just stay there, crying his eyes out. He needed to keep living. Living for his baby.

Dan pulled himself up, promising the baby that he would fight and try again.

When Dan finally eat a full plate of warm food, he sat down at the piano and started playing, soon getting lost in the so-familiar sounds and feelings spreading through his body.

\- Could you find a way to let me down slowly? A little sympathy, I hope you can show me… - Dan was singing without even noticing it himself. - If you wanna go then I'll be so lonely. If you're leaving baby let me down slowly. Let me down, down. Let me down, down. Let me down, let me down. Down, let me down, down. Let me down. If you wanna go then I'll be so lonely. If you're leaving baby let me down slowly. If you wanna go then I'll be so lonely. If you're leaving baby, let me down slowly. -

When Dan was finished, he felt a lot more free, like a big weight had been lifted up from his shoulders.

He felt a small movement in his baby bump again, sadly smiling down at it.

\- Did you like Daddy singing? - Dan asked.

The word itself felt a bit weird on his tongue, he knew that he will need to get used to it.

Dan slid his hand over the baby bump, getting lost in his thoughts, about what would happen next, about what would happen when the time came for the baby to enter this cruel world.

Dan still had no idea what would happen with him and Phil, if there even still was an "us" between them. Phil's words were playing back in his mind, making him swallow hard so as not to cry.

Dan needed to know if he needed to move out from this flat and start searching for his own.

But that probably would be the best option anyway; he needed space for a nursery.

Dan sighed, starting to play the piano again, switching between well-known songs that appealed to his mood.

Dan didn't even notice how it was already a full night, moonlight giving him just enough light to see his fingers move over his piano keys.

But he really didn't even need to see what key he was hitting, he just knew where every one of them were and most of the time he was playing them with his eyes closed anyway, simply getting lost in the feeling and sound.

Dan sighed, finally getting up from the piano, stretching out, feeling a bit hungry.

He knew that it is not the best option to eat anything in the middle of night but screw that, if he was hungry, he would eat. He's eating for two, for fucks sake.

So Dan sat down, eating grilled cheese sandwitches and drinking apple juice with it.

Soft music was playing in the background so in some moments, Dan started dancing around the kitchen, feeling simply happy for a moment and then a little moment longer.

Dan danced all the way back to his room, dropping down into his bed, feeling exhausted, his eyelids drooping and sleep taking over his body and mind.

In the morning Dan already felt much better, tidying the house and then sitting down to start searching for a flat he could afford to rent for himself and his baby.

He heard the door unlock and someone come in.

He recognised the footsteps right away.

Phil.

Dan tilted his head just in time to see Phil walking past the living room, into his own bedroom, closing the door behind him, sending a clear message to Dan to leave him alone.

Dan sighed.

\- Well, at least he came back while we are still here. - Dan murmured, sliding a hand over his baby bump.

Dan sighed again, putting his computer down and going to kitchen to make some dinner for them.

Dan hummed softly while making dinner, not hearing Phil walk into the kitchen, so, when he turned around and saw Phil standing right in front of him, he jumped and let out small scream.

\- You scared the shit out of me! - Dan gasped, sitting down, trying to catch his breath and not feel dizzy.

\- Sorry, are you alright? Do you want water or something? - Phil asked, worried, pouring some water into a glass and giving it to Dan to drink.

\- Yeah, yeah, you just scared me, I didn't hear you coming. - Dan took a sip from the glass, putting it back on the table, leaning back in the chair, holding a hand over his baby bump that was visible through the t-shirt he was wearing.

Phil's eyes slid down and stopped there, Dan followed his look, sighing, and stood up, finishing the dinner.

\- Dan… We need to talk. - Phil said in a distant voice.

Shivers ran down Dan's spine; he was ready for the worst, already close to tears.

\- It's okay… I was already searching for a flat that I could afford. - Dan tried to speak in a steady voice, tried not to break down.

\- Wh...What…? You what? Why? What? - Phil sound so confused that it made Dan turn around and look at him.

\- I searched for a flat so I can move out, leave you alone and stop disgusting you… - Dan swallowed the big lump forming in his throat.

Phil watched him in shock and confusion, not able to speak.

\- Dinner is ready… - Dan murmured, putting food on the table, not sure if he should stay and eat in the kitchen together with Phil.

\- Thank you… - Phil mumbled, sitting down, starting to eat.

Dan stood there for a sencond before taking his plate.

\- What are you doing? Sit down and eat. You need to eat. - Phil said in a caring voice.

Dan was confused but sat down and started to eat, looking only down into his plate.

They ate in silence, both deep in their minds.

Dan was the first one to stand up to put his plate down.

A bigger kick was felt inside his baby bump, making him jump in surprise almost drop his plate.

\- What happened? Are you alright? - Phil was at his side instantly, his arms snaking around Dan's shoulders.

\- Yea… It's just moving… And kicking… - Dan took couple of deep breaths.

Will he ever get used to feeling the small kicks? He don't think so.

\- What? It's kicking? Already? - Phil asked in surprise.

\- Yeah… Yesterday was the first time when I felt that… - Dan felt a bit uneasy standing like that, with Phil's hands around his shoulders, talking about his baby like nothing had happened just couple days back.

\- Can I feel it? - Phil looked Dan in the eyes.

\- Feel what? - Dan felt breathless.

\- The baby… - Phil breathed out, leaning closer to Dan.

\- I don't think that you can feel it from outside just yet… - Dan murmured, getting lost in Phil's blue eyes.

\- Oh… - Phil mumbled right next to Dan's lips.

\- Phil… - Dan breathed out, closing his eyes, feeling unshed tears start to burn.

\- I am so fucking sorry, Dan… - Phil's voice broke, making Dan open his eyes and look up at Phil.

Phil's eyes were full of tears, making them look an even brighter blue, even more like the ocean.

\- Your words hurt a lot… - Dan let his tears break free.

\- I know… I just… Why did you hide something so important from me…? - Phil let his tears run down too.

\- I was too afraid that you would hate me… That you would think I'm disgusting… - Dan sobbed. - And then you actually got to know and the first thing you did was call me disgusting… - Dan's voice broke.

\- Not you, the fact that you didn't tell me. I love you, Dan, I have loved you for years now. I got so angry that you wanted to hide something so important from me… I felt hurt… - Phil tried to explain through sobs.

\- I was just so damn afraid… - Dan broke down completly.

\- I know… I know… Just please, never hide anything from me ever again. - Phil pulled Dan into a hug.

Dan gripped Phil tighter, hidding his face against his neck.

They both stood like that for couple of minutes, simply crying their eyes out, crying away all the pain.

Phil was the first one to break away and look at Dan, wiping away traces of tears, so Dan started to do the same to Phil.

\- Can I please touch it? - Phil asked, a bit afraid.

Dan nodded, taking Phil's hand and putting it on his baby bump.

\- Oh my… - Phil breathed out, a small smile starting to form on his lips.

Dan let his hand hover over Phil's hand, enjoying the warmth coming from them.

\- I can't believe that I will be a dad. - Phil mumbled, leaning down and putting a small kiss against the baby bump, surprising Dan even more.

\- I can't believe that either… - Dan let his free hand intertwine in Phil's hair.

Phil looked up at Dan and smiled.

\- Fuck… You look so sexy like that… - Dan breathed out, biting his bottom lip, making Phil smirk.

\- Oh, did someone missed me? - Phil ran his free hand over already growing Dan's crotch.

\- Phil, fuck. It's not funny. - Dan leaned against the kitchen counter.

\- I am not laughing. - Phil smirked, starting to pull Dan's boxers off.

Dan's breath hitched when cold air hit him. He looked down at Phil who was looking up at him, locking their eyes.

Phil sucked Dan into his mouth, making Dan let out a loud moan right away and grip Phil's hair even harder, which made Phil moan around Dan.

This time the simple blowjob felt even more sexual than usual because they'd missed each other and just the feeling of Phil running his hands over baby bump was almost too much.

It felt like a making-up sexual moment but that was okay because they both still poured a lot of love into it, filling the house with love and laughter after that.


End file.
